Am I Still Allowed to Love Ameer Vann?

By Ashley Girouard (with contributions on song analysis from Jack Wensky)

It was Memorial Day weekend of 2018 in Allston, Massachusetts and I was deep in the crowd, covered in sweat, waiting by the Blue Stage at Boston Calling. Daniel Caesar had just played and the sun was shining; stragglers in the back of the crowd sat down and smoked in the grass, and the crowd by the stage began to murmur and swell with the excitement of the approaching musical whiplash we were about to experience. BROCKHAMPTON would be taking the stage in less than 15 minutes, opening the set with the melancholic hit “SUMMER”, and would uncomfortably try and figure out how to perform a set with one missing person. Ameer Vann never took the stage that night with the rest of BROCKHAMPTON, and he would never take the stage with them again. 

In early May of 2018, a few weeks prior to the Boston Calling performance that changed it all, allegations began to surface of sexual misconduct surrounding Ameer Vann, one of the 14 members of the hip hop collective BROCKHAMPTON.

BROCKHAMPTON, a self described “boy band,” founded by openly gay frontman Kevin Abstract in 2015, gained worldwide traction in the years that followed. With eccentric music videos, wildly energetic shows and a lovable DIY spirit, they acquired a large and obsessive fanbase that was very appreciative of the way BROCKHAMPTON openly expressed queerness and preached acceptance, love and respect.

After the allegations, Ameer Vann, one of the strongest and most popular members of BROCKHAMPTON, became a walking hypocrisy in BROCKHAMPTON’s truth. If they were going to live out this mantra of respect and acceptance that their fanbase expected, it would be impossible to keep Ameer in the group and still have the loyalty of the fans. BROCKHAMPTON publicly announced their parting with Ameer Vann on May 27th of 2018, one day after the Boston Calling performance, and cancelled the rest of their tour. 

It's been over two years now since the removal of Ameer Vann from BROCKHAMPTON, and for the most part, he has been quiet; rumored to be working on “bettering himself” and taking time to regroup. He dropped his slightly underwhelming but understandingly vulnerable EP, EMMANUEL, in 2019. It’s dark, depressing, and far from a redemption album; but it did allow Vann to speak his truth and be open with some of the torment he was facing in his new, post BROCKHAMPTON life.

More recently though, in mid October, Vann dropped his first single since EMMANUEL called “Keep Your Distance.” The track opens with a heavy, low ringing 808 and the sound of Ameer Vann’s own maniacal laughter; that evil, revenge coated laugh that just drips of “proving people wrong.” The track features a prominent, slightly haunting, chopped up vocal sample and electric piano reminiscent of something Afro-Cuban. The lyrics are delivered with ease and are riddled with wit and braggadocious banter. It’s an energetic stand alone track that has me fantasizing about the future of Ameer Vann, and for the first time since his departure from the group, I see a glimmer of hope for the music of his that is to come. 

I try to steer away from making everything Vann does about BROCKHAMPTON, but it's hard to help from wondering if this song is about them. In the middle of the second verse, the heavy 808s and kicks give way to a light, jumpy piano tune. It is here that Vann delivers some of the most compelling lines of the track, one of which seems to be a witty interpolate to his iconic verse on BROCKHAMPTON’s “STAR,” where he claims “I’m the black Tom Hanks.” Whether this is a jab at the people of his past or just a reiteration of a crowd favorite line is up to interpretation, but I can't help but wonder if this song is his way of reclaiming what is his and breaking free from the band once and for all.

The song is ridden with Vann’s distaste for others, whether he is claiming to be “way above” all the people in his life, or insisting that he “ain't got friends for a reason.” Yet at the same time, there is also sort of a power to the song. It feels as though Vann is finally comfortable and thriving, almost, with the independence he has gained in his life. This song feels less like a revenge track and more like an expression to the world that he is back; and maybe that just means as a solo artist this time, but he is still back and ready and to me, that is a pretty promising sign of a strong and exciting comeback. 

I’ll be the first to admit that I love Ameer Vann. I love the richness of his voice, I love the grit he brings, and I love his often unapologetic, grimy lyrics. With that being said, I do think there is a level of guilt that comes with supporting an artist who has been called out for a possible troubling past. In 2020, when cancel-culture is more prevalent than ever, can we ethically support an artist's content if we aren't really sure if we support them as a person? This is a question I find myself reflecting on all the time. I am all for second chances and allowing people to show they have changed, but where do we, as a society, draw the line? What is too far or too much? Is it hypocritical for me to boycott Harvey Weinstein movies but decide that Ameer Vann’s wrongdoings are “lesser” and that it's okay to still support him? I don't think I have that answer yet; I don't think anyone really does. What I do know though, is that I really like this song but I can still work, as Ameer Vann said himself, to “keep [my] distance” from the art I support, and the people that make it.